An illogical friendship
by Dragons-Flying-High
Summary: After receiving some Plomeek soup for breakfast from the replicator, Ashley speaks with Spock, the ships first officer. Soon they seem to grow closer as friends, and -Ashley hopes- something closer. Takes place on the 5 year mission after Into Darkness.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey guys! Heres my first attempt of a full, multi-chapter fanfic. Hope you guys all like ^-^

Disclaimer: I do not own any Star Trek Characters or Star Trek devices, locations, or anything like that. If I did the whole thing would be a massive spirk fest.

Also, Ashley is my OC. I may use that name in other Fanfiction, but it is not the same person. I just tend to use that name a bit.

* * *

Groaning, Ashley awoke from her deep slumber to the sound of buzzing by her head. She slammed her hand down on the number of buttons, hoping one of them would silence the noise. She eventually got success.

It was 6.30 am aboard the U.S.S Enterprise, and in an hours time her shift started. Ashley had only been assigned to the ship for three weeks, but already she was fast falling into the routine; Wake up, shower, dressed, hair, breakfast, work. Not the most exciting life, but she loved her work all the same. She was a Science Ensign, specialising in biology and anatomy, and had been assigned here since the ship stopped at space station KG - 62. She'd made a few acquaintances, but the only person she was close to was Chekov, the young Ensign being a a few years younger than her. Due to the similarity in age the two had bonded fast, and already they were pretty good friends.

Now that Ashley was ready she grabbed her tricorder and her PADD, checking the time and seeing that she only had 20 minuets for breakfast. It would do, she thought to yourself as she headed out of her room, the door sliding closed behind.

* * *

Ashley was in the rec room, sipping on the unknown soup she had gotten for breakfast. She couldn't decide what have when she had looked over the options, so she had set it to random and hoped for something good. Out of the machine had popped the bowl of reddish - brown soup that currently sat infront of the Ensign. It tasted odd, but nice at the same time, and Ashley could tell it was a certain vegetable that she had never eaten before. As she was finally getting used to the taste, she sensed that someone was watching her. Looking up, she met a pair of deep blue eyes, a black bowl hair cut and strange pointy ears.

"Em, hello sir," She said, slightly startled. She recognised that it was Spock, the Vulcan First Officer. He raised one eyebrow and looked down at her choice of breakfast.

"I had believed that I was the only one on the ship who ate Plomeek soup." the officer said. "It seems I was wrong."

"Oh, that's what it is?" She said, remembering seeing the name on the options and having no idea of what it was. "I only have it because of a lucky chance, but it is quite tasty."

"Indeed. It is a traditional morning dish for Vulcans, although it can also be had as an evening meal." Spock told her in his informative and emotionless voice. She swore she could see a hint of sadness on his eyes, most likely recalling the loss of his home planet. Feeling bad for causing him to experience that memory, Ashley spoke.

"Care to join me for breakfast sir?" she said, smiling friendly. She guessed it couldn't hurt to extend herr friendship to the ships First Officer.

The Vulcan took in the offer and considered it, mulling over something. He nodded a reply to her, saying "Thank you Ensign."

"The name's Ashley Cooper, Science Ensign specialising in biology and anatomy," she said back, reaching out to shake the officers hand. Spock hesitated for a moment, but then outstretched his hand to hers, and firmly shook it. "Would you also like some Plomeek soup sir?"

"I would indeed. However, I am capable of collecting it myself." Spock said, walking over to the replicator. He pressed the necessary buttons in a orderly manner and took his hot bowl back to the table, sitting opposite Ashley. Trying to think of something to strike a conversation, she pulled out her PADD and put up the report of a new plant species she'd found on the planet that the ship had recently visited.

"Sir, I was wondering if I could have your opinion on something," she said, turning the PADD to face Spock. "This new species of plant that I found seems extremely odd in the way that when it photosynthesises the energy from the sunlight that it takes in is not just used to make the appropriate food, but it is released back into the atmosphere. I can't quite pin-point where this process happens, and I was wondering if you had any insight on the matter, being the head science officer."

Spock staired at the PADD, his eyes taking in the diagram on screen. He stayed like that for a few minutes, still taking sips of his soup. Eventually the Vulcan looked up from the screen and said "I am afraid I cannot pin-point the location either. Perhaps the if you change the computers settings it can scan the specimen and find it."

"I'm afraid I've already tried that sir, and with no luck," Ashley informed, sighing and pulling the device back towards her. "Kirk's gonna have my head on a stick if I don't get the report finished and sent of to Starfleet in time."

"I do not believe that the captain would instigate barbaric techniques for the punishment of a missed report deadline," Spock replied, clearly not understanding that it was just a saying. She chuckled, finding the Vulcan slightly amusing.

"Lets just hope you're right sir," She said, finishing off the last of her Plomeek soup. "I am afraid I must go now as my shift starts in ten minutes. Thank you for joining me for breakfast sir."

Ashley picked up her bowl and put it back into the machine where it was sent away, and nodded a goodbye to the Vulcan as she exited the rec room. It was not till later that day while calculating the mass of a batch of plants, that she realised she'd left her PADD at the table.

* * *

Ashley was in one of the ships laboratories, mixing together enzymes of all sorts and denaturing them over a flame, in an attempt to complete this report for Kirk. She was getting very frustrated.

"Ensign Cooper." A voice behind her said. Ashley jumped at the suddenness, and ended up spilling half of the boiling hot liquid on her hand.

"Arrrrrrrrrrggggg!" Ashley cried out, the pain scorching throughout her body. Her eyes were screwed shut due to the relentless burning in her hand, but she could hear Spock rushing past her, and arriving back within seconds. He must have grabbed the emergency burns kit, for Ashley soon felt a slight cooling in her hand, meaning he had applied the burn cloth. "It's not enough, I'll need to get up to sick bay," she said through clenched teeth. The cloth had helped, but the pain was still unbearable. She started to hobble out of the room, still clenching her hand. She just hoped she could get to sick bay in time before any permanent damage was done.

She had gotten out into the room and into the corridor when someone had rushed past her, causing her to bump her arm and increasing the surge of pain. Once again she cried out, tears welling up in her eyes. She felt like her entire hand was burning up in a sun. "I'm not going to make it in time.. Spock, I need you to go get Doctor McCoy and - whoooaa!"

As Ashley had turned to get the Vulcan to retrieve the doctor, he had hastily scooped her up as if she was as light as a puppy, and was swiftly carrying her towards the turbo lift. Her hand still burned, but the shock of being picked up had numbed it slightly. Soon they were in the lift heading upwards, Ashley still in Spock's arms.

"Spock, I'll be fine, I can walk the rest of the way." Ashley tried to say, again through clenched teeth. But Spock simply shook his head, and exited the lift towards the treatment room.

"Spock what do you want now- what the hell happened?" The doctor said, rushing towards Ashley in Spock's arms as she was brought in.

"I've burnt myself on some boiling liquid," Ashley said as Spock sat her down on one of the beds. The cloth was still on her hand, but it's effects we're subsiding. "Nothing too harmfully, it just bloody hurts."

"I'm not surprised," McCoy said, rushing to a cabinet and pulling out a tub with red labels on it. When opened, Ashley saw the cream inside it, a pure white colour. "Here, this will help."

McCoy applied the cream, and almost instantly Ashley sighed as the burning stopped and was replaced by a cooling sensation all over her hand. "That should pretty much do the trick. I'll need to put a bandage on it, but you should be fine." The doctor said to the young Ensign, who was now leaning back against the headrest, revelling in the soothing of the pain. "How did this happen in the first place."

Ashley quickly looked over to Spock, and hastily said "I was just being stupid and not being carefully enough." She didn't want him to take all the blame for this.

"Not so Ensign. I entered the room as you were busy and you did not notice me. When I spoke you were startled, causing the liquid to spill over your hand. I am to blame for her wounds." Spock said back just as quickly. McCoy just looked at Spock with a raised eye brow for a second, and then turned to put the bandage on Ashley's hand. "There is no need for you to claim the blame Miss Cooper."

Ashley just sighed, as did McCoy. She had a feeling she would never fully understand the Vulcan. "If you will forgive me sir, why were you in the lab? Did you find a solution to my problem from breakfast?" she said, turning to face him.

"Negative. I had simply come to return your PADD that you left this morning." Spock handed her the device.

"Oh, thank you. I went back to the rec room earlier but it wasn't there so I figured someone must have picked it up."

"Alright, that should be it, you're both free to go." McCoy said, snipping off the end of the bandage. "You got here just in time though, before the burns got too severe. Your lucky Spock was there."

"Yes, I was..." Ashley replied, and her and Spock were hurried out of the room as McCoy went to finish off some paper work. They now stood outside in the empty corridor.

"Miss Cooper, please forgive me. I have caused you injury that could have been avoided if I had been more carful." Spock said, the sincerity almost coming through in his emotionless voice.

"It's fine sir, it was an accident. Plus, you pretty much saved me by carrying me here. I owe you one." Ashley replied, lightly waving her now bandaged hand. "And you gave me my PADD back."

"I was only doing what any logical officer would do in order to get a member of crew the treatment in correct time. You have no need to thank me."

"Spock, you saved me. You're pretty much a hero now sir."

"Illogical. I have done no act that can be dubbed as heroic."

Ashley simply sighed again, shaking her head. She guessed all that despite being half human, Spock's Vulcan side was still more prominent.

"However, I thank you for your compliment Miss Cooper."

Ashley smiled and looked up at the tall, pointy eared man. He still had his normal, blank face, but for one second she swore she saw a tiny twitch of the edges of his mouth, as of to smile.

"You are most welcome sir," Ashley said, heading back towards the turbo lift. "I will see you at breakfast tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2

Ashley, once again, awoke to the beeping sound of her alarm. Her long brown hair was a mess, and she rubbed one of her bright green eyes as she yawned. She stretched, the bones clicking in her back, and she got out of bed. She checked the bandage that McCoy had put on her yesterday, and made the assumption that the burn was nearly fully healed. Just to be safe, she got out a fresh bandage and wrapped it around her hand, not layering is as thick as the previous one.

Once the usual morning routine was over, and Ashley had looked herself over in the mirror and made sure her hair was all straightened, she started to head out. Ashley hated her natural hair, with a passion. It was in ringlets normally, and of she didn't dry her hair after a shower it would go back to that. And that was something Ashley was not going to let happen.

Hastily walking through the long, sleek corridors of the enterprise - her boots making soft thud sounds when they hit the polished black floor - Ashley reached the rec room, walking in to see her usual table empty. Occasionally Chekov would have the same shift times and her and they would sit together at breakfast, but that seldom happened. So mostly Ashley ate alone.

Ashley had always been alone. She had seldom any friends growing up, and even less at Starfleet Academy. She didn't know what it was, but people just got put off by her. She wasn't particularly shy, and would love to socalise, but people just walked away from her. She was just plain and boring.

Sighing, she once again flicked through the menu on the replicator. There was so much choice it was almost impossible. Seeing the name she recognised, she selected Plomeek soup again, planning to add some pepper to it to see of it would make it less bland.

Ashley nearly burned her other hand, for when she turned back around Spock was sitting at her table, already with his own bowl of the Vulcan delicacy.

"Good morning sir." She said, sitting in her normal seat. Spock looked up, looking slightly tired. Ashley was aware that Vulcans didn't need as much sleep as humans, but she figured that everyone must need rest at some point. "How are you this morning?"

"I am... normal." he said, blowing on his spoonful of the hot liquid. "I have figured out a solution to your problem."

"Really? You found out where the process happens in the plant?" Ashley said, eyes lighting up.

"Correct. It happens here." Spock pulled out his own PADD, with an extremely detailed diagram. He pointed to a root nodule, and explained to the science Ensign how the process occurred there. By the end of the explanation Ashley was in awe.

"Sir, thank you. This means I can finish my report!" Ashley said as Spock transferred the files onto her device. Then she suddenly realised. "Sir, were you up all night researching this for me? Is that why you're tired this morning?"

Spock just looked down at the dial on the screen, slowly turning round as the files transferred. "I could not sleep and I had no more paperwork to do."

Ashley simply smiled. "Thank you commander. It is greatly appreciated. That's twice now you've helped me out." She reached for the pepper shaker, but then hesitated. "Sir, do you have any recommendations of spices to put in the soup to make it a little less bland?"

Spock thought to himself for a second. "From my experience pepper is sufficient. However, if you wish, try putting in some thyme, along with a pinch of salt."

"Thank you sir," Ashley said, selecting the herb from the replicator. Once it was in the soup she agreed that it did taste much better, and once again thanked the Vulcan. "Are there any other tasty Vulcan foods?"

"There is Bertakk soup, aswell as Shav-rot." Spock said. "However, I believe Plomeek soup is the only one on the replicator that humans seem to enjoy."

"Ah, that's a shame, I really like it." Ashley said, sipping on the now much tastier soup. Her eyes drifted over to the clock on the other side of the room, and when she saw the time she nearly spat out her breakfast. "I-I'm late for my shift! Em, I'm sorry sir but I really must go!"

Ashley sped out of the room, leaving behind her half finished bowl of soup and her PADD. Spock sighed and picked up the device, planning on returning it to the Ensign when his shift ended.

* * *

Ashley cursed her stupidity as she had went to her belt for her PADD, and realised she had left it again. She considered going to find Spock and ask for it - presuming he had picked it up - and decided to deliver the report to the Captain on the bridge, while asking Spock for the device if he was there.

Walking towards the door, it slid open and suddenly Ashley walked into a solid object. The solid object stumbled backwards slighty, while Ashley fell to the floor on her behind. That solid object, she found out as she looked up, was Commander Spock.

"I'm so sorry sir! I should have been looking where I was walking!" Ashley quickly said, standing up and brushing down her blue uniform.

"Ensign, as I stated yesterday, there is no need for you to take the blame." The Commander said, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. "I apologise, I should have been more careful."

"No, it was my fault this time, but thank you sir." she replied. "I was actually away to come find you."

"As was I Miss Cooper." Spock said. In his hand was her PADD. "I would advise that in future you leave sufficient time for breakfast to assure you do not leave anything behind."

"I'm sorry, I'm so stupid sometimes." Ashley said, sighing. Her stupidity had always made people hate her.

"Negative, Miss Cooper. You were simply rushed this morning." The Vulcan said. Ashley could have sworn that he was comforting her. He then looked down at the report in her hand. "Is that the report for the Captain?"

"Yes, I was on my way to deliver it sir. Is the Captain on the bridge?"

"Indeed. I too was on my way to the bridge."

"Oh. Would you care to join me Commander Spock?"

The Vulcan was silent for a moment, before nodding and following Ashley to the turbo lift. They entered, and the lift swiftly brought them up to the large, high tech bridge, where Captain James T Kirk sat in the captains chair. Spock entered first.

"Ah, Spock, did you talk to McCoy?" Kirk said, spinning his chair to face the lift. "Oh, and who is this lovely lady?"

"This is Ensign Ashley Cooper, Captain. She has brought you the report for the new species of plant." Spock informed him. Ashley stepped forward, handing him the report.

"Well Miss Cooper, I believe you had some what of an incident yesterday," Kirk said, looking at her bandaged hand.

"Yes Captain. Commander Spock helped get me to sick bay just in time." Ashley replied formally.

"Yes, McCoy told me about that. " he said, signing for the report on the device. "How is your hand now?"

"All well sir; the bandage is only there for precautions."

"Good, I'm glad you got there in time."

"Well, if it wasn't for Commander Spock I wouldn't have."

"Indeed. Alright Ensign, that's fine. I shall see that this gets sent off to Starfleet."

Ashley nodded and headed back to the Turbo lift, pressing the button to call it up. For a moment, she could feel eyes watching her, and as she turned around to look, could swear she saw the Vulcan quickly turn away.

As she entered the turbo lift and the doors closed behind her, she smiled to herself. She believed that her and Commander Spock were becoming friends.

* * *

It was dinner, and Ashley had finally gotten time to spend with Chekov.

"So, how is your hand?" He asked her over their dinner of chicken and vegetables. "I overheard ze Kepin speaking about it."

"Oh, it's fine. I should be able to take the bandage off tomorrow, but McCoy said I'd better pop down tomorrow morning before my shift so he can check it out, just in case." Ashley said back. "I'm just lucky Spock was there. If he hadn't carried me I would probably still be in sick bay right now with a severely burnt hand."

"He carried you?" Chekov asked, surprised.

"Yeah. He said it was 'what any Commander would have done', but I'm really grateful."

"Well, atleast ze Wulcan got you zere in time." Chekov sighed, with Ashley giggiling at the way he said 'Vulcan' due to his accent. "I'd better get going, my shift starts again in ten minutes."

"Aww, already? I've got the rest of the night off." Ashley said, disappointed. "I guess I'll go check out the ships library, it's the one place I haven't been yet."

"Alright, I will see you later!" Chekov said, getting up and heading out of the room, leaving Ashley to finish her meal on her own.

Once Ashley too had finished, she headed straight to the ships library. She had suspected it to be small, but it was bigger than she had thought. There were shelfs full of books, and a machine that could pop out any book you chose from the library's catalogue. Dotted around the library were a few tables with chairs, aswell as some beanbags. But the one place that caught Ashley's eye was the window seat; a lush, soft red cushion with amazing view of space. She already knew where she would be sitting.

Getting an old earth fiction book from the machine called 'Frankenstein', Ashley went to the window seat, lay across it with her back and head rested against the sideboard, and delved into the book. Within an hour she was fast asleep, head resting lightly on the glass that separated her and the coldness of space.

_Ashley was flying. Flying though space. Touching stars and chasing them as they dashed away from her. She passed supernovas the colour of red wine, and black holes that let no light escape it._

"Miss Cooper"

_Ashley was enjoying all this, being out in space without any limits. She felt like she was free. She felt like everything was pure joy._

"Miss Cooper"

Ashley was snapped out of her dream by a familiar voice. Quickly looking up, she saw it was Commander Spock.

"Oh, I'm sorry Commander. I must have fallen asleep. What time is it?"

"11.30," Spock replied, checking the clock on the wall.

"Oh gosh I've been asleep for five hours." Ashley said, sitting upright. "Thank you Commander." she put her book back into the machine, and it zoomed away.

"I suggest that you return to your quarters and get some sleep Ensign."

"Yes, that is exactly what I'll do sir. May I ask, why are you here at this hour?"

"I do not require as much sleep as a human. I had arrived here in the hopes to read."

"Oh, sorry. I'd best be getting back now." Ashley said, turning to leave. But before she exited she quickly turned and said "Try Frankenstein. From what I can remember before I fell asleep, it's quite good."

* * *

"Well, you've got the all clear." McCoy said to Ashley the next morning, looking over her hand. "The tissue is still a little weak, but you'll be fine as long as you don't put too much stress on it."

"Thank you doctor. I'm just glad Spock was there." Ashley replied, pushing a stand of hair out of her face.

"Yes, you're very lucky he took you here." the doctor agreed. "However, I'll admit it is odd to see him carry someone up here."

"He said he was only doing what anyone else in his position would have done."

"Well, I'm just glad for your sake that he did it."

"I was only doing what was necisarry, doctor." Spock said, suddenly appearing behind them. Ashley jumped from surprise.

"Spock, what are you doing here?" McCoy asked him harshly.

"I wished to thank Miss Cooper for her recommendation of Frankenstein. I found it most fascinating." The commander replied, turning to look at Ashley. "When she did not appear at breakfast this morning I presumed that she must have been here."

"Well you can thank her now because I'm finished here." the doctor said. "She's all clear, just as long as she doesn't put too much stress on her hand. Now both of you get out, I've got heaps of paper work to do."

Once the pair were once again hurried out of the room they once again stood in an empty corridor.

"I am glad that you're injury has fully healed." Spock said, looking at her hand. The skin was a little red, but McCoy had said that it would go away in a few days. "And your recommendation of a book was correct. I indeed found it interesting."

"Thank you sir, but there's no need to thank me. I was simply helping out a friend." Ashley said, smiling up at the Vulcan.

Spock stopped. "You consider me a friend?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I guess so. We've had breakfast together twice and you saved my hand, so I would say so." Ashley replied. She had not realised the word 'friend' had slipped out.

Spock simply stood there, mulling it over. "Thank you, Miss Cooper," he said, walking off towards the turbo lift.

Ashley simply smiled, chuckled to herself, and headed back to her lab.


	3. Chapter 3

Another day, another slow morning in the lab.

Ashley sighed. With her report finished and all other samples taken care of she didn't have much to do. She considered sneaking off to the library, but she knew that being caught slacking off while on shift could get you in seriously hot water. Like, temperature of a sun kind of hot. So she was stuck here, staring at the now slightly pink skin on her hand where the burn was, daydreaming. She recalled the events of the past days; The lucky surprise of the Plomeek soup, getting her hand burnt, Spock carrying her to sick bay...

She was having a very Spock-filled week. Not that she minded, in fact she found the Vulcan quite nice to be around. You knew that he would always be honest with you, and although his lack of emotions was a bit discerning at times, it did lead to a few chuckles from Ashley. But it was more than just that, she felt as if they got on particularly well, and that they were becoming friends of sorts. She guessed she was one of the only people willing to humor him and his emotionless ways. She would have to go back to library and finish off Frankenstein when she got the chance, and this time make sure she didn't fall asleep.

The Ensign was leaning on her desk, eyes shut, and half asleep, when a door behind her opened. She really hoped it wasn't someone giving her more paperwork, no matter how bored she was. A rough voice coughed behind her, clearing his throat.

"Em, Ensign Cooper, are you awake?" doctor McCoy said, looking at her. Ashley simply mumbled a reply and turned around to face him, yawning. "Good. Well, em, you'll need to come down to sick bay with me. I need to talk to you about something."

Ashley, slightly worried, nodded to the doctor, and followed him out of the lab.

* * *

"So those enzymes you were mixing? Yeah, turns out they weren't all that harmless. I did a few tests just in case, and it turns out that exposure to the skin at those temperatures could lead to mutation in the cells." McCoy explained, the look on his face slightly more grim with each word he said. "We can't be sure that its occurred, but we'll need to operate on it with a laser graph just in case."

Ashley stood there, wide eyed. No, not an operation. Hypos and needles she could handle, but the thought of an operation made her skin crawl. It was odd, being a biologist, as she had dissected things on numerous occasions, but it was more the fear that something could go wrong that go to her. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Now don't worry, you'll only be out for an hour or so and the possibility of it going wrong is relatively small." McCoy assured her. Still, she couldn't help but fear it. "Now, I've scheduled you in for 3pm tomorrow. Just be there on time, and everything will be ok. Trust me, I'm a doctor."

"3pm t-tomorrow.." Ashley repeated, nodding, as the colour drained from her face. "Alright doctor, I'd better be getting back to the lab." Ashley swiftly left, the impending doom of the next day heavy on her mind. She needed to get somewhere, somewhere quiet. But not the lab, there were too many other people going around. She needed somewhere to hide.

Library? No, even that had a few people in it. Quarters? No, if she was needed that would be the second place they would look for her, and she wanted to avoid human interaction at the moment. Ah, Engineering. She knew plenty of small corners where she could sit on her own undisturbed. Deciding on it, she entered the lift, hoping no one else would get in on her way down.

* * *

She had been right, engineering was very quiet. At least in the hidden areas it was. Currently she sat in the cargo bay, incased by walls of tall boxes, keeping her safe. It was completely silent, all except her low sobbing. She felt ashamed, a grown woman crying at an operation, but she couldn't stop herself. She remembered once when she had to get her appendix out when she was 8, and that had been traumatic enough. So there in the cargo bay she sat, glad that nobody could see the state that she was in.

Footsteps. She heard footsteps. She suddenly caught her breath, trying to contain her sobs. She _really _didn't want anyone to see her like this. The footsteps stopped. Ashley, slightly relieved, returned her head to her arms, and closed her eyes as the tears dropped down her face.

"Miss Cooper."

Ashley nearly jumped at the surprise voice. At first she didn't recognise who it had come from due to her heavy breathing, but when she looked up she saw the almost concerned face of Spock.

"Miss Cooper, are you quite alright?" The Science Officer said, looking down at he stood in his usual pose; hands behind his back.

"Y-yes sir." Ashley replied quickly, wiping tears from her cheeks. "I-I'm fine."

"I am drawn to believe that you are not telling the truth Ensign."

"I'm sorry sir, I know it's against regulation to lie to your superiors. I'm just having some personal fears."

"Fear of what exactly?"

Ashley hesitated. She was ashamed to let him see her like this, let alone tell him she was scared of an operation. But she had to tell him, he was her superior.

"Well sir, the thing is, I have quite a large phobia of operations. I don't know why exactly, I've just always had it. Just the fear of something going wrong while you're unconscious and potentially making things worse just terrifies me..." Ashley looked up at the Vulcan, feeling even more ashamed than before. "I'm sorry sir. These fears are childish and I shouldn't be hiding in the cargobaby crying."

"Negative Ensign. Phobias are a natural part or human life." Spock said, looking at her intently. "However, I am unable to fully understand them myself."

"I guess it's a human thing."

"Indeed. However, I do see how your fear of operations may prove problematic. Are you due for an operation soon?" Spock asked.

"Yeah. Doctor McCoy said the enzymes I spilt on my hand can cause mutation in cells. I need to be operated on with a laser graph." She explained. Spock sighed.

"My apologies Ensign. I seem to have caused you more injury."

Ashley shook her head, disagreeing. "Sir, what happened was a simple accident, and was not your fault.

And besides, knowing me I would have spilled it on myself anyway." Spock simply remained silent. "Plus, I still feel ridiculous for hiding down here. I shouldn't be scared of just an operation but I can't help it. I don't know what I'm going to do sir."

Spock stood, as of considering something. His face was blank, but when Ashley looked into his eyes she could see the gears of his magnificent brain turning and churning.

"There is one option Ensign," he said, breaking out of his deep thoughts. "There is an ancient Vulcan technique, used to make two minds become one. Given your permission, I could potentially use this technique to rid you of your phobia."

"I've heard of that before; a mind meld, wasn't it?" Ashley said, thinking back to studying for an essay at the academy. "You would be willing to do that for me?"

Spock nodded, his face the same as ever, but Ashley was touched by this motion of kindness. She knew that Vulcans did not use this technique on just anyone; it put particular stress on the mind, and was often saved as a last resort. To think that he would offer to do that for her made Ashley smile for the first time that day.

"Sir, thank you. I believe that would help." she said, standing up and wiping the last of her tears away.

"If you would accompany me up to sick bay, I may begin the technique there."

"Em, sir, would there be a possibility of doing it somewhere slightly more private?" Ashley asked, feeling like a burden.

"Certainly. Will your quarters do?"

"Yes sir." Ashley led the way this time, slightly anxious of what was about to happen.

* * *

"You don't have to do this for me sir," Ashley said as she sat on the end of her bed. "I don't wait you to hurt yourself just for me."

"I shall not be injured by using this technique, and I am experienced in the use of it." Spock replied once he had finished a short meditation to have his mind at full capacity.

"Thank you sir. I really appreciate what you're doing for me."

Spock nodded, and approached Ashley. "Are you ready Miss Cooper?"

Ashley nodded, taking deep breaths. She was somewhat nervous; it was not every day you mind melded with a Vulcan. Spock sat next to her on the end of the bed, and gently placed a hand on her left cheek. His touch was soft and caring, unexpected of the normally blank and emotionless man. He cupped her face slightly, and then closed his eyes. Ashley waited for what felt like minutes as she awaited the start of it.

Suddenly she was no longer Ashley. She was also Spock, first officer of the U.S.S Enterprise. Their minds were one, and the sensation was terrifyingly new, yet she felt calm, as of all worries had washed away from her. In the vast infinity of their shared minds, a voice called out.

"You are not afraid of operations. They pose no fear to you, and you no longer feel terrified by them." it said, calm and logical. Ashley felt a wave of even more calm wash over her.

"Your phobia of medical procedures is gone."

She could feel Spock pulling out of her mind, slowly becoming separate again. Some part of her didn't want him to go, wanted to stay safe in his minds embrace.

Suddenly she was just Ashley Cooper again. She sat, slightly startled, facing Spock, his soft hand still on her cheek. He seemed to keep it there for longer than necessary.

Spock looked the same as ever, if a little drained. "How do you feel about the procedure now, Ensign?" he asked, taking his hand away.

"I- I'm not scared. It worked Spoc- em, Sir." Ashley said, her hands shaking. "Thank you very much sir." It had really worked; when she thought to things about the operation that had her crying this morning, no fear was present.

"It is appreciated Ensign. I suggest you report to the doctor that you are willing to go ahead with the operation tomorrow." Spock said. He looked down and noticed her shaking hands. "I apologise if I have caused you harm Miss Cooper."

"No it's fine, I'm just a little shaky." she replied, clutching her hands together. "Thank you sir. I know the strain that it puts on the mind, and I am extremely grateful for what you did for me. Thank you."

Then Ashley did something she had felt compelled to do since becoming closer with the Vulcan.

She lent forward and put her arms around him, giving him a hug. At first he seemed started, and his body went ridged. Ashley knew she was probably breaking some Starfleet rule, but she just hugged him, saying "Thank you Spock."

When she ended the embrace and lent back, Spock's face was a riddle. It seemed confused, and possibly surprised. "I'm sorry, I know that was quite unprofessional." Ashley said, looking at her feet as she realised what she had done. She worried if he would report her to the Captain. "I just... Needed to show my gratitude. It's a human thing I guess."

"Indeed." Spock said, standing up abruptly. "I had better be getting back to the Bridge."

"I'm sorry sir." Ashley murmured as he started to leave.

"Do not apologise Ensign. I took no offence nor harm," the Vulcan replied. Then he swiftly walked out the room.

* * *

"Are you ready?" McCoy asked Ashley as she lay across an operation bed in sick bay. She nodded, wanting to get it over with. Not because of fear, her fear was all gone. Simply because she had paperwork to do.

"Yeah. How long will I be out for?" she asked as McCoy took out a needle.

"Well, shouldn't be longer than an hour and a half. The operation doesn't take long." He replied. "All right, this'll knock you out. You'll wake and and It'll all be done."

Ashley flinched slightly as the sharp needle punctured her skin, the solution injected into her blood stream. Nothing changed to start with, but she closed her eyes to blink and she was out cold, oblivious to everything around her.

* * *

_"Yes Doctor, I did indeed think of the possible side effects, but the chances of that happening were so small it seemed illogical."_

Ashley heard voices. Her mind was cloudy, and her hearing impaired.

_"Dammit Spock, those side effects could have been dangerous. She's still young, her brain is still developing!"_

She heard a name she recognised; Spock. What was he doing there? She tried to open her eyes, but the light that came through her eyelids blinded her.

_"I had taken that into consideration, yet I felt that-"_

_"You felt? Don't tell me, next you'll say you smiled!"_

_"Doctor, I was simply using a term of phrase. I felt that her mind could easily handle the mind meld."_

_"Oh? And how did you know?"_

_"Miss Cooper is strong willed, Intelligent, and mostly logical. All are signs that she could easily handle the meld."_

"Uh, will you two stop arguing?" Ashley said, groaning. She opened her eyes as McCoy walked towards her, and Spock behind him.

"How're you feeling?" The doctor asked, checking her vitals.

"Fine, just a little hazy. But I presume that'll go when the anaesthetic wears off. Did the operation go ok?"

"Yes, all fine. Your hand should now be in the clear for good now," he said. "Unless you go and spill something else on it. So do be careful in the future."

"Yes sir." Ashley replied, rolling her eyes, to which the doctor just smiled and walked away to fill in a small form. Spock approached. "Hello sir."

"Hello Miss Cooper. I trust you are well?"

"Yeah, my hand should be all good from now on." Ashley looked to her hand, now normal colour again and without any pain. "I have to thank you again sir; the mind meld left me without fear of the operation."

"Thanks is not necessary Ensign. However, I am.. glad, that all went well."

Ashley swore she could hear McCoy sniggering in the background.

"Thank you sir. I would, em, like to apologise for yesterday. I should not have hugged you. I am sorry." Ashley said, quieter so that the doctor wouldn't hear.

"As I said, there is no need to apologise. No harm was done."

"But it was out of order. I know myself how Vulcans are sensitive to touch. I should have thought before acting stupid."

"Negative Miss Cooper. I en-"

"I'm sorry Spock. Please, I promise I'll never do anything like it again. Can we still be friends?"

Spock remained silent for a while, as if he was thinking, the sounds of McCoy scribbling in the background.

"I believe we shall continue to be - what you refer to as - friends." He said, nodding.

"Thank you Spock."

"Acknowledged Ensign."

Spock left the room as McCoy returned with the forms. Ashley sighed; she wanted to be more than friends with Spock, but every ounce of logic in her body said no.

* * *

Spock sat, alone in his quarters in the candle light. He was deep in mediation, his breathing heavy yet steady. He tried to channel out the emotions he had almost let through today, forcing them back inside the way he had been taught from such a young age. He had nearly let himself admit it in a moment of weakness and he would not let it happen again. His mother had always wished he had let his human side be a part of his life, yet now when it had started to leak through she was not here to see it.

No. He must push the illogical and unnecessary emotions away.

_"You asked me why I married your mother,"_

His father words echoes in his head from years ago.

_"I married her because I loved her."_

Frustrated, he entered another meditation, this one deeper than the last. He was at it all night, and did not appear for breakfast with Ensign Cooper in the morning.

* * *

AN: Hey guys!

So I've got reviews saying that you guys are loving the story! Thanks, this is my first Star Trek fanfic (I've only gotten into it in the past 2-3 months) and its turning out good! I'm pretty pleased with it!

Anyhoo, hoped you liked it!

P.S Sorry it took all week to finish, just had **alot **of English, Chemistry and Biology homework and revision to do. But next week is less busy ^_^

P.P.S Ive finished series 2 of TOS! Ohmygod I'm so sad that there is only one more series T_T But then I have the movies, so its all good :3


	4. Chapter 4

Ashley sat, alone, poking at the bacon on her plate. She wasn't in the mood for eating.

Spock had't appeared at breakfast for the past 3 days, and she was pretty sure he was avoiding her. Whenever he was down in the Biology labs he would never go to her - always someone else - and whenever she had to go to the Bridge he would have his face constantly staring at his computer monitor. He was annoyed at her for hugging him, she knew it, and she knew that their friendship was over, even though he had stated differently the day of her operation.

So she now sat by herself, just wanting the day to be over so she could get into bed and sleep. Her job had lost its interest, its_ fun_, over the past 3 days, and she didn't know how to get it back.

"Ashley? What's wrong?" A familiar voice said. She looked up to see Chekov, looking at her with worry on his face.

"Yeah, just - Spock's annoyed at me because I hugged him." She replied, sighing.

"Wait what!?" Chekov said, wide eyed.

"It's a long story, you'd better sit down." And so Ashley explained the event of the past few days to Chekov, and after much consideration told him about her feelings for the Vulcan. She knew she could trust Chekov, he was her best friend. Plus, she had an hunch that he had a thing for Sulu.

"So, you like Mr Spock? Zen why not just tell him?"

"Because it's obvious that he doesn't feel the same way." Ashley said, sighing and planting her head in her arms. Her shift had already started, but nobody at the lab would notice her missing, and she figured there wouldn't be much to do there anyway.

"But how do you know zat for sure if you do not ask?"

"Look, our friendship is pretty much over as it is, I don't want to make it any worse." Ashley said, mumbling. "I'm just such an idiot, I should never have done it in the first place."

"Ashley, you are not an idiot. Quite the opposite; you are clever, intelligent, and one of ze nicest people I have ever met. If you ask Spock, I honestly think he would say yes. I saw ze way he looked at you zat time you were on ze bridge."

"Thanks Pavel, but I don't think it'll quite work that way." Ashley sighed again, this time deeper. "I'd better go, my shift started ten minutes ago and I don't want anyone to report me. I'll see you later."

"Yeah, see you later zen.." Pavel said, shaking his head and quietly sighing as Ashley left the room.

* * *

She had decided: She would confront Spock about it. She had to, other wise the rest of this 5 year mission would be extremely awkward for the both of them.

Now, to find out how to talk to him without anyone seeing. She thought about inviting him to her quarters, but that could end up starting rumours, and it was likely he would decline. She could talk to him on the bridge, where he usually was, but there were too many people there. Suddenly, it hit her. She pulled out her PADD and send a quick message to Chekov; he owed her a favour anyway. He replied, confirming her request, and she headed to the library.

Once there she sat at a table that was slightly hidden, but had a view of the entrance. Hiding her face with a rather large book, she peered over the top to see Spock enter and look around for the Lieutenant that Chekov had told him was waiting for him there to discuss the ships necessities. Of course it was a lie, but she was glad he had believed it. He looked around and, seeing no Lieutenant around, walked to leave, but Ashley got up before he could near the door.

"Oh, hello sir." She said, acting like it was a complete coincidence that she was there.

"Hello Ensign." He replied, taking more steps toward the door.

"Sir, do you mind if I could have a quick talk with you please?" she asked, hoping he wouldn't just decline and leave. "It wont take long."

Spock turned and walked over to the table that Ashley stood by, and she sat back down in the chair. He just stood there.

"Look, sir, I know you have been avoiding me lately, and you have more than sufficient reason too, but I just need to say that -" Ashley tried to admit it, tried to tell him her feelings, but she just couldn't. The words stuck in her throat, afraid the leave her mouth, and she put her head in her hands. "I'm sorry sir. I've waisted your time here. Just.. I'll stay out of your way from now on."

Ashley could feel the tears well up in her eyes, yet she would not let them show. She was a grown woman, and she was strong. But, saying that, she had just admitted defeat. She was not strong. She might be a grown woman, but she didn't act like one. And so she let the small tears out, and they rolled down her face, still buried in her hands.

"Ensign, I do not wish for you to stay out of my way."

Ashley's heart nearly stopped beating. What did he just say?

"Excuse me sir?"

"I said I do not wish for you to stay out of my way Ensign." He repeated, standing blank faced as ever. "I apologise for my lack of appearance at breakfast these past days, I was acting... Illogically."

She could hardly believe it. Spock was admitting that _he_ had been illogical? If anything, Ashley had expected him to say it was her that had been the illogical one. She raised her head up to look at him, and he noticed the tears on her face.

"I apologise if I have upset you Miss Cooper." he said, his voice a little more sombre.

"No, it's not that, I just- I was afraid that we would no longer be friends." Ashley said. It wasn't completely a lie, but she left out the part about wanting to be more than friends.

"As was I, Miss Cooper."

"Really sir?"

"Yes."

Ashley sighed to herself; humans were such drama queens. She cursed her stupidity and immaturity, and figured that her petty crush would just go away over time.

"Thank you Spock. You're a good friend."

"As are you, Ashley." he replied, calling her by her first name for the first time. She smiled, and stood up.

"I'd better be getting back to the lab then. You up for a chess game after dinner tonight?"

"I had also better be getting back to work. And indeed, I shall join you for your chess game."

"Thank you sir, see you later!" Ashley said, waving as she exited the library, sending a quick message of thanks to Chekov.

* * *

"Checkmate." The Vulcan said, taking Ashley's queen for the fourth time that night. The Ensign groaned, annoyed at her defeat. She had been on top form, but no matter what she could not seem to beat him.

"It seems like your brain is hard wired for chess," she remarked, resetting the board. "I'm gonna finally beat you next though."

"Vulcans often practice chess as a practice for calming the mind," Spock said, resetting his pieces. "That, and Vulcan brains are more advanced than those of humans."

"I think it's the bowl cut," she said, giggling.

"How exactly would my hair raise my intelligence?"

"It's a human thing sir."

Spock raised an eyebrow, and then looked to the board. "You move first."

"Alright, get ready to lose." she said, grinning. The biology Ensign was away to select a pawn and move it, when Spock's PADD buzzed.

"Spock here," the Vulcan said, answering the communication.

"Spock, I need you, McCoy and a biologist down in the transporter room in five minutes. We're beaming down to the planet to investigate a distress call."

"Yes Captain. Spock out."

Spock put the PADD back on his belt and stood up. "I apologise, I must call this game to a halt. I am needed."

"Wait, did Kirk say he needed a biologist?" Ashley said, eyes wide. "Em, I don't suppose I could be that biologist? I've never been on a landing party, but I've got good experience."

"The decision would seem logical." He agreed. "Now we must collect doctor McCoy and make our way to the transporter room."

"Yes sir." Ashley said, following the Commander down up to sick bay. There they found the doctor, ready with his Tricorder and med kit, and the trio headed down to the transport room.

"Ah, Spock," Kirk said as they entered, their Captain waiting on the transport pad. "Oh, Ensign Cooper, good to see you again. I see Spock made his choice of biologist well."

"Hello Captain, and thank you," Ashley said, standing on the transport pad next to McCoy. "So, what exactly are we doing down on the planet?"

"We received a distress call Ensign," Kirk explained. "The origin is unknown, as is the reason, but Starfleet wants us to go down and make sure everything is ok."

"Understood Captain." She said back, just as the transporter whirled into action, and she suddenly stood on soft, lush grass. "It's beautiful."

"Indeed. But we're not here to observe the scenery, we're here to find the nature of this distress signal." Kirk said as Spock scanned with his tricorder.

"Air is almost exactly that of earth, soil is extremely fertile, and climate is relatively warm." The Vulcan said, looking at the device.

"Thank you Spock. You and Ensign Cooper take some samples of the soil and plant life then report back to me. Doctor McCoy and I will try and locate the source of the distress signal."

"Yes sir," the pair answered in sync. Spock led the way towards a tall tree with large amounts of flora under it, and Ashley basked in the beauty of the place. They were in a lush meadow, pure greens running everywhere, and the trees stood tall and proud. It reminded her of her home in the Scottish highlands, where -if the sun was shining- it was the most beautiful place on earth. She felt a slight pang in her chest, as if something was trying to pull her home.

"Sir, this is beautiful! It's just like the hills of Scotland on a sunny day!" Ashley said, her grin spread right across her face as she followed behind Spock.

"I have visited Scotland before, and I see no similarity." The science officer said, looking around.

"Ah, but that's because you weren't in the good places. Ask Scotty, he'll confirm it for me." She said back, laughing.

"However pleasant the scenery may be, we must carry out the captains orders." Spock got down on one knee next to a plant, and after scanning it for any diseases or viruses, he plucked off a leaf and stored it inside a test tube, closed with a stopper. He then handed it to the Ensign, who stored it away in her bag. They repeated this procedure five times, and by the end of it Ashley had the urge to start climbing the behemoth tree.

"Looks like this tree's made for climbing," she remarked, seeing the natural footholds. "I broke my arm once falling out a tree when I was 13. Didn't really hurt, but I was never allowed to climb them again. You ever broken any bones, sir?"

"Once, in combat with a fellow Vulcan at a young age. I too was scolded severely." Spock replied, thinking back to his home planet.

"Ouch. That must have hurt, considering Vulcans are quite strong."

"It was not especially painfully." he said, standing up again. "We have all the necessary samples. We should now return to the captain.

"Yes sir."

Ashley followed Spock once again as they headed back, but she stopped suddenly when she thought she heard a rustling in the tree. She looked up but saw nothing. "Must be a bird.." she mumbled to herself, and continued walking. There it was again, the rustling. She was sure of it this time; there was something up in that tree,something much bigger than a bird.

Ashley looked up again, but saw nothing. "Sir, can you see anything up there?"

Spock turned and looked up, but he shook his head. "I do not see anything but leaves Ensign. We should return to the captain."

"Yes sir. I guess it must have been the wind." she said, looking forward again. What happened next went by in a flash.

Ashley saw actual surprise and shock in the Vulcan's eyes, and she heard him shout her name in panic. He was running towards her like a charging bull, his speed unmatched, and he crashed into her with full force. She was knocked back, and he heard a thud that did not come from her own landing.

Looking up, she saw Spock lying on the ground, a spear right through his chest. The owner of the weapon was unseen, but the danger didn't matter to Ashley. She ran over to Spock, the green stain forming on his blue science shirt.

"Spock! S-Spock? Speak to me, please!" She said, on her knees beside him. "Say something!"

"E-Ensign Cooper.." he said, his voice weak. She put a hand on his neck, feeling his pulse weaken. He slightly flinched at her touch, and he screwed his eyes shut from pain. "Are...are you alright?"

"Shut up about me Spock, you're loosing a lot of blood!" Ashley nearly shouted back, tears welling up in her eyes. She grabbed her PADD and called McCoy. "Doctor, Spock's injured! He got hit by a spear and he's loosing a lot of blood and I can't do anything and I - I - I don't know what to do!"

Ashley was on the verge of panic, seeing someone she was close to in that state of injury. Her breathing was heavy, and she felt useless. "Calm down. You being in a panic will only make things worse." McCoy said from the other end. "We're on our way to your location, just stay there and try to stop the bleeding. Get out the emergency kit from your bag and put pressure on the wound. And on no circumstances remove the spear. Keep it in him till we get there."

"Y-yes sir." Ashley said as McCoy hung up. She threw her PADD on the ground and got the emergency medical kit from her bag. She managed to lessen the flow of blood, but she couldn't stop it. "It's going to be ok Spock, McCoy and Kirk are on their way."

Ensign... You should leave..." Spock said, his voice getting weaker. "The attacker may still be nearby..."

"I don't care Spock, I'm not leaving you to die out here!" Ashley said, the tears running down her face.

"That is... an illogical decision..."

"Damn you and you're logic Spock. You are my friend, and I will not leave you!" she said, almost shouting at him. "You can't die on me!"

"I apologise..." he said, eyes closing.

"Spock.. No, no! Don't do this to me Spock! Please!" the young ensign begged as she saw the colour start to drain from his face. "Spock, you cant die on me! Please! Think of the five year mission! Think of all the planets and civilisations you'll get to see! You can't die Spock, I won't let you!"

Ashley was in a full fit of tears as she saw the head of McCoy and Kirk come over the hill ahead of them.

"Just one more minute Spock! You just need to hold on another minute! McCoy and Kirk are coming!" she cried. When she got no answer, not even a movement of his eyes, she collapsed onto his arm, her hands still keeping pressure on the wound.

"Please... Don't die Spock.." she said, whispering now. "I- I... I love you Spock..."

Leaning in, Ashley panted a small kiss on the Vulcans cold lips, hoping somehow that it would help bring him back.

"Ashley!" McCoy yelled as he closed in. He skidded to a stop, injecting a hypo into the Vulcan's neck as quick as a flash. She saw no change in him, but McCoy began work immediately, applying all sorts of things to the body.

"It's going to be ok." Kirk said, helping her up. "We'll get back to the ship and we'll have the best doctors take care of him."

"He can't die Jim..." she said, feeling the need for formality was gone. She dove for him, arms open, and he embraced her, comforting her like a father. As she sobbed into his command yellow uniform he patted her back, repeatedly telling her that it was going to be ok.

She didn't believe him.

* * *

AN: Dun dun duuuuun!

Thought I'd end it on a bit of a cliffhanger. Is Spock ok? Is he dead? All shall be revealed next chapter.

Also, thank you so much for all the positive feedback! You guys are amazing!


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as they had gotten back to the ship everything had been hectic. Spock was rushed off the sick bay in a trolly, McCoy following, and Kirk had told Ashley to go to her quarters and wait there while he got everything sorted out. She did as she was told, and sat alone in an empty room, the silence comforting her. She hadn't been able to stop the tears as the thoughts of Spock dying ran through her head. And it was all her fault.

If she hadn't been so stupid and asked about the rustling in the tree, of only she had just been a professional Starfleet Ensign and silenced her curiosity, if only she had been more careful, Spock wouldn't be near death. A wash of guilt was heavy on her as she sat, staring into silence, wishing that she had been the one the spear had hit.

"Ashley."

Kirk's voice snapped her out of her somber thoughts. He was standing in her doorway, a sympathetic look on his face.

"Ashley, what happened was not your fault." He said, his voice comforting.

"He's going to die, isn't he." Ashley stated, her voice flat. "He's going to die its because of me."

"No, it's not. I told you, it's not your faul-"

"Yes, it is. If only I had been more professional and not so stupid I would have seen the attacker, or at least avoided it," she cut him off. "That spear should have landed in me, not Spock."

"Ashley, he's not going to die." Kirk said, sitting down on the end of her bed next to her. "Spock's strong, he'll pull through. Trust me."

"What's McCoy saying?"

"Well, if he were human the spear would have pierced a lung and caused major internal bleeding. Lucky for him, his Vulcan anatomy means that his organs are in different places, and they all seem to have escaped harm, or so Bones says." The captain explained. "He doesn't know for sure, but he knows that he's strong. No way he'd let us live without his logic."

Ashley smiled a faint smile at the thought of Spock being ok, of him living to see another day. But then she remembered that it was her fault that he was near death, and she knew that no matter what level of friendship they were at, he could never forgive her for that. The smile faded from her face.

"Look, today's been upsetting for you, I know, so I'm giving you the rest of the day off. Just relax a little. Read a book or something. Just don't dwell on the events, ok?" Kirk told her

"Yes sir." She replied flatly.

"Ashley, it's going to be ok." He said, hugging her again. Ashley really liked Jim; He was almost like a father to her, and although he could be a scary captain at times, he really did care for all of his crew. He stood up and left the room, leaving Ashley once again in her own thoughts.

Sighing, she decided to take the captains advice, and she headed towards the library, hoping that no one was in her seat.

* * *

She had been sitting there for five hours now, blankly staring out of the window. She's given up trying to concentrate on reading within the first ten minutes, and now she sat on the window seat, looking out into the vast beauty of space.

Few people had noticed her, and none had bothered to speak to her. They could tell she just wanted to be left alone, alone with her thoughts and the events of the day. Many things ran through her head; Was Spock going to be ok? Would he ever forgive her? Did he hear what she said? Was he going to be angry that she kissed him? Should she ask to get transferred to another ship? She never came up with any answers.

"Ashley?" Chekov said, appearing out of nowhere behind her. It took her a moment to realise that someone was actually talking to her. "You've been in here for hours. Don't you vant to, I dunno, come to ze rec room for something to eat?"

"I'm fine." She replied bluntly.

"Ashley, dont blame yoursel-"

"I said _I'm fine_!" she snapped, instantly wishing she hadn't. "I'm sorry Pavel. I just.. I cant help thinking that this whole thing will just make things worse."

"Vhat things? Between you and Spock? But I thought you two made up?"

"Well, we did, but..," Ashley sighed, and once again confided in her friend. She told him about the kiss.

"I'm sure it's nothing to vorry about," he said reassuringly. "You said he vas unconscious."

"Well, I think he was, but I don't know!" The science Ensign put her face in her hands, wishing that the darkness of space would just swallow her up.

"Vell, last I heard he vas just coming out of an operation. Maybe you should go see him." he suggested.

"No, I've messed things up enough."

"Ashley, I'm sure he'll vant to see you."

She sighed. She guessed she's have to face him eventually, and she figured that it was best to do it sooner rather than later. "I guess you're right. Alright, I'd better go do this now." She said to her friend, and put away her book that she'd forgotten the title off.

* * *

"Doctor McCoy?" Ashley said as she poked her head through the door of Sick Bay.

"Please don't tell me you messed up your hand again?" The Doctor said, coming through from his office.

"No, I was just wondering.. em, how's Spock?" she said, slightly quiet.

"Oh," McCoy said, slightly more serious. "He's still recovering, but he should be fine. It'll just take him a few days to get be able to work again."

"I feel terrible, I need to apologise to him. Is he awake?"

"Yeah, he's through in the next room." McCoy said. "But kid, don't go beating yourself up over this. Think of it this way; If you had been hit, you'd be dead. But thanks to his Vulcan anatomy, Spock will be back to normal in a few days."

"Yeah, but-" Ashley tried to argue, but just didn't have the energy to. She just wanted to see Spock and get this over. So she just sighed and walked through the doorway, and was met by a rather peaceful looking Spock, lying on the bed with his hands linked and on his chest, and eyes shut. She couldn't help but smile at how serene he looked. She walked slowly closer, not knowing if he had gone back to sleep. once she was right next to the bed she looked down at his face, still a little pale, and sighed. She figured that he was asleep, and she would just come back later.

She was turning to leave when he spoke. "Ensign," he said, his voice a little less.. Vulcan. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Spock, thanks to you." She said, turning back to face him. He lay in the same position, now with his deep brown eyes looking up at her. "I'm sorry. You nearly got killed because of my stupidity and slow reaction, and it's my fault you're in a hospital bed recovering."

"Do not apologise Miss Cooper," he replied. "For there is nothing to apologise for. It is not you're fault that I was injured, It was mine. I knew what would happen if I pushed you out of the way of the projectile."

"But why Spock? Why would you do that, put yourself in danger, for me?"

"Because we are friends."

Spock's words brought tears to Ashley's eyes, and she couldn't tell if they were ones of joy or ones of sorrow. He had saved her, not because of duty, but because of friendship. He had willingly put his life on the line for her, knowing fully that the consequences could have killed him.

"Th-thank you Spock." She said, sobbing slightly, but still smiling. A single tear rolled down her face, and Spock gently placed his hand onto her cheek to wipe it off.

"I heard what you said while I was injured." Spock said, almost softly. "You said that you loved me. Is this true Ensign?"

"I-I-eh.." Ashley stuttered, caught off guard. She hadn't expected him to bring it up, if anything she thought he would just ignore it. "I just-I thought you were dying and-I don't know why I did I just-"

She kept babbling untill she finally composed herself, and with a deep breath, she answered him.

"Yes. It's true."

"The feeling is mutual."

Ashley nearly took a double take. Had she heard him correctly?

"Sir, I think the anaesthetic from the operation is having an effect on you." She said nervously.

"Negative. I am thinking quite logically." he replied calmly.

Ashley just didn't know what to say. Spock was saying that he felt the same way for her that she did for him? It seemed impossible, yet it was happening right in front of her.

"Ashley, I understand that this is an illogical time to ask this, but may I ask if you would wish to join me for dinner tonight in my quarters?"

"Like, as a date?"

"Yes."

"I'd be glad to, Spock." She said, smiling at him, and for a split second she though she saw a small twitch of his lips.

"Is 6PM an appropriate time?"

"Yes, I'll see you then. Now you get some rest, or else McCoy will have to give you more hypos."

Spock nodded and closed his eyes, putting his hands back in their place. Ashley walked out, and McCoy was just sitting there on his chair, half surprised and half amused.

"Looks like he's not such a machine after all." He said, grinning at her. "I see your talk went well."

Ashley blushed and the doctor chuckled. "Not one word of this to anyone, ok?" she said, pointing a finger at him.

"My lips are sealed."

* * *

It was 5.50PM and Ashley was in her quarters, franticly sorting her hair. She'd put on a fresh blue uniform after having a shower, and now she was just trying to get her hair to sit flat. No matter what she tried her natural curls still showed up slightly. Seeing the time she sighed, figuring that it would have to do. She took a deep breath to calm herself, and made her way to Spock's quarters.

"Hello, Spock?" Ashley said as she buzzed outside his door.

"Come in." He replied through the comm. She walked in to see him standing there in his deep blue sciences shirt, the gold insignia glinting in candle light emanating from the table. Ashley couldn't help but crack a wide smile. "Hello Ashley."

"Hello Spock," she replied, still smiling. The fact that there was candles on the table,_ even a rose_, made her grin. She knew he wouldn't have done romance the 'human way' normally, but the fact that her did for her made her feel warm inside.

"Please, take a seat," He said, walking over to a chair and pulling it out for her. He was being such a gentleman, it made the Ensign giggle a little. Ashley thanked him and sat, the seat surprisingly comfy. Spock walked over to a smaller side table where a machine sat, and opening a hatch he pulled out two bowls, the steam rising off them. "I recall you saying that you would like to try more Vulcan foods, but the replicator did not feature them. So I took it apon myself to make some Bertakk soup."

Spock placed the bowl infront of her, the warm, rich scent filling her nose. "You cooked this yourself?" She asked, very impressed. He nodded, and she smiled at him. "Thank you Spock. I'm flattered you would go through all that just for me."

Spock sat opposite her, and for a moment they sat in silence, sipping their soup. Then Spock spoke, breaking the silence. "Is the soup satisfactory?" He asked her, looking up from his bowl.

"Yes, It's delicious! I had no idea you were such a good chef!" she praised him, letting the smell of the herbs and spices in the dish waft towards her. "Seriously, this is amazing! I don't get why Vulcan foods aren't popular, this stuff is delicious."

"I shall have to prepare Vulcan delicacies for you again then," Spock replied.

"What? Oh, I'll have to make you something as well," she replied, thinking of a great idea. "My granny was a vegetarian, and whenever we visited she would always make us this delicious vegetarian risotto. I begged her for years to teach me the recipe, and eventually she agreed. Now its my signature dish."

"Your grandmother sounds like a wonderful woman."

"She was. My mum and dad were so stressed with you two little brothers when I was a teenager, they just never really had the time for me. I never resented them from it, but it did get lonely at times. But my granny was my driving force through school and Starfleet Academy." Ashley recalled, a warm smile growing on her face, then disappearing. "I only wish she's lived long enough to see me graduate."

"I look forward to trying this signature dish," Spock said, finishing the last of his soup. Ashley still had much of hers left, and she felt slightly uncomfortable just sitting there while he sat in silence. "I apologise if I am making you uncomfortable." He said, picking up of her feelings. "Would you like a drink?"

"Oh, yes please," She replied, watching him stand up and walk over to the smaller table where a few bottles sat.

"Wine? Water?" Spock listed, going over the drinks available.

"Wine? I thought the ships replicators didn't have alcohol in their settings?

"I was given this port by doctor McCoy apon leaving sick bay. He said I 'was going to need it'" Spock said, raising an eyebrow as if still confused by the actions of the doctor. Ashley made a mental note to both thank him and punch him next time she was in sickbay.

"Well, no point putting it to waste," she nodded, as Spock poured a glass for the both of them. As he handed her the glass she sipped it lightly, and was greeted by a sweet warm taste on her tongue. She nodded in appreciation, and continued to consume the warm soup.

They continued the small talk between one-another until Ashley had finished her wine and her soup, and Spock picked up the plates and placed them back into the replicator. He stood rigidly by the machine, his gaze never leaving her. When he was trying to find of a way to stop the silence, she saw a 3D chess board at the other end of the room.

"Would you like a game of chess, Spock?" She asked, smiling at him.

"I would very much enjoy a game of chess with you Ashley." He said back, walking over and carried the board and pieces back to the table. As he arranged the pawns and bishops correctly Ashley couldn't help but notice his hands; they were strong, but also soft and caring. She was almost mesmerised by them.

"You're to move first," He said, sitting back down and watching her movements. She moved her pawn thoughtfully, watching his intelligent eyes.

Their game continued on, Spock's eyes fascinating Ashley as they moved over the board with such grace and concentration. Soon enough she realised he was winning, and despite her best efforts she just could not win.

"I still think your brain is hardwired for chess," She commented on it when he took her queen.

"I apologise. I forget that I am not going against a fellow Vulcan," He replied, resetting the board for another game. "If you want, I shall go easy on you next game."

"Pfft, wouldn't dream of it Spock," Ashley said, grinning. And so their night continued, with Ashley actually managing to win one chess match. She lost count of how many Spock had won by the end of the night.

When the time came for their date to end, Ashley stood up from the table. "Thank you Spock, I've had a wonderful evening." She slowly walked closer to him, until she was looking directly into those deep, intelligent eyes. She kissed him lightly on the cheek, the tips of his ears turning a light shade of green. She was about to turn away, but Spock put his hands on her shoulders and placed his lips firmly onto hers, their touch exploding in a moment of electricity between them.

When he drew away, he looked slightly startled at what he'd just done. "I apologise. The was quite out of order." he said, putting his hands behind his back.

"Actually, I quite enjoyed it," Ashley replied, her cheeks a light red. "Goodnight Spock, and thank you.

She walked out the room, thinking to herself if what had happened was real. She just smiled to herself, thinking that she had met the kindest, nicest man alive.

* * *

AN: Hey guys! Sorry this took a while to get uploaded, I've just had alot of Macbeth stuff to do for english right now.

Anyhoo, hope ya'll enjoy!


	6. Chapter 6

A few days had passed since Ashley had had her little dinner date with Spock, and thankfully nobody had managed to find out. Well, so she had thought until one afternoon while delivering a report to the captain, and Kirk had murmured to her "You and Spock have a nice dinner?"

She was taken aback by his comment, and muttered "McCoy..." under her breath. Kirk just chuckled quietly.

"Don't worry, he only told me because I forced it outta him," he said to her quietly. "So, you two are a thing now, huh?"

Ashley blushed, and glared at him. "Not officially. We went on one date, but we've both been so busy that we haven't been able to talk much. But, I guess we kinda are..."

"Heh, you have no idea how glad I am to see that Spock's taking an interest in someone," He chuckled. "I'm glad him and Uhura are still friends and all, but it was kinda sad to see him lonely again."

"Well, if that's all Captain, I'd better be getting back to the lab," Ashley said, taking back the signed report. She swiftly left, desperately hiding her blush. Jim thought to himself for a moment, smiled, then went to the communicator in the arm of his chair. He buzzed down to med bay where Spock was with McCoy, working on some new medicine.

"Spock here," The Vulcan answered.

"Spock, I need you to go pick up a report from me for the Biology labs. Ensign Cooper should have it." Jim said to his first officer.

"Yes sir."

"And Spock?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"You can thank me later."

* * *

Spock made his way to the lab, a little faster than necessary. He entered to find a rather cheery Ashley Cooper, sitting in her computer chair and writing up notes, all the while humming lightly. Spock cleared his throat to get her attention.

"Oh, hello Spock," she smiled, glad to see him. "What can I do for you?"

"I am here to pick up the report for the Captain," he stated.

"Em, I already gave it to him. Look," she replied, a little confused, as she held up the signed report. If he was confused, he didn't show it. He simply nodded.

"My apologies for disturbing you. The Captain must have been... forgetful." He said.

"No need to apologise Spock. Actually, I'm glad he sent you, we've both been really busy the past few days and we haven't really had a chance to speak. How are you?"

"I am quite well, thank you. And yourself? You seen quite cheery this afternoon."

"I'm fine, a little tired but I guess that comes with the job."

"If you are not getting enough sleep, I can talk to the Captain about getting you're hours changed."

Ashley chuckled. "That's really sweet of you Spock, and I appreciate the thought, but it's alight, I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure Spock," She said, smiling at him. She stood up, walked towards him, and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. "But thank you. Also, I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me on shore leave tomorrow? I hear that there is a really nice Vulcan restaurant near where we'll be."

"I would most indeed like to join you for shore leave. What time shall we beam down?"

"Well, meet me at my quarters for 10am. That sound ok?"

"Indeed." he nodded, and Ashley's heart warmed. "I had better return to the Doctor and check if he is in need of my help. I shall see you tomorrow."

He gave her a light kiss on the lips before leaving, and Ashley couldn't help but grin. She walked over to the computer, and buzzed the bridge.

"Kirk here," Jim answered.

"Thanks Jim," she said. All she could hear was light chuckling on the other end before she hung up and went back to her notes.

* * *

Spock stood outside Ashley's quarters, about to walk it. He pressed the button to the side of the door, and she heard her call out "Come in Spock!" from inside. When he entered, she stood in a plain sleeveless top and a pair of denim shorts, and was fixing her hair in the mirror. Spock could not help but compliment her.

"You look most beautiful today Ashley," he said, standing next to the chair that had her small bag sitting on it.

"And you're just as handsome as ever," she said back, walking over to him with a smile. "You'll enjoy it down there; the temperature is quite warm."

"Indeed. Do you have everything you need?"

"Em, lemme just check..." she said, going over to her bag and rummaging through it. "Yup, PADD's in there aswell. You ready?"

"Yes. Shall we make our may down to the transporter room?"

Spock offered Ashley his arm, to which she smiled and accepted. "Yes, we shall," she said, linking her arm with his. They ended up letting go though as they passed other crew members on the ship. They wished to keep their relationship private, at least for the time being. Scotty was waiting for them when they arrived and smiled at the sight of them together.

"Dinnae worry lass, your secrets safe with me," he said, getting the transporter ready. "Now you to behave yourself down there."

Ashley shot him a glare, but she couldn't help but crack a small grin at the Scotsman. He just smiled back and pressed the buttons, and soon the air was humid and smelt of perfumes. She looked around to see stalls selling all sorts of little items; jewellery, small trinkets, some beautiful wind chimes, that sort of thing. She subconsciously dragged Spock along to all the stalls, but he didn't mind. He liked spending time with her, and her with him, so they continued to wander through, looking at everything. At one stall a beautiful little rock caught her eye, and when she asked the stall tender about it he'd explained it was actually from Vulcan.

"Yes, this was taken from the planet many years ago and polished till it shone. You can still see some of the red dust on if you look closely."

Spock was busy looking at a old, leather binded book, so she turned and asked what the price was. It seemed fairly reasonable, and so she bought it, while thanking the man at the stall.

"Find anything nice?" Ashley said, returning to Spock's side.

"Indeed. This is a volume of an early Encyclopaedia Britannica. It is astounding to see that many things that were thought true long ago are now known as false." he said, putting the book down. "Did you find anything of interest?"

"Yes, and I want to give it to you."

Ashley opened her hand to show the small, shiny rock. "It's from Vulcan. The man said that it was taken from there a long time ago, and then polished until it shone."

She took his hand and softly lay it in his palm. "I though it would be nice to have a little bit of home to remind you that Vulcan lives on, even in the planet does not."

Spock was taken back by this small stone in his hand. It brought forth.. dare he say _feelings?... _about the loss of his planet and mother, but they did not pain him like they had when it had happened. They gave him a sense of hope he had not encountered before, and he closed his palm.

She had expected him to give a brief "Thank you," like her normally did but instead she was embraced in an electrifying kiss, catching her off guard. As they embraced it felt like the whole world revolved around them, and everything was spinning. She ran a hand through his surprisingly soft hair, and he did the same to her, and together they felt invincible.

Once they both pulled away, all Ashley could do was smile.

"Shall we go for lunch then?" She asked.

* * *

The Vulcan restaurant was quite quiet, which suited the two of them nicely. Their waiter was actually a Vulcan aswell, and he and Spock had a short conversation in their native language. Ashley didn't understand half of it, but she was mesmerized by the sound of his native tongue. Once taking their order, both types of soup that Ashley didn't even try to pronounce, he left them, and they were alone at the table, a small rose sitting in a vase in the middle of them. It reminded her of the night she'd had dinner in his quarters, and she smiled fondly to herself at the memory.

"Have you enjoyed shore leave so far?" Spock asked her as she sipped her iced tea that she'd ordered.

"Yeah, It's so nice here. In Scotland we get a few weeks of sunny weather a year and the rest is cold and rainy." she reminisced, thinking back to her time growing up. As soon as she'd heard of Starfleet she'd always wanted to be part of it, and she'd studied so hard in school in order to get the qualifications to make it to the Academy. "I remember the day I got my letter of acceptance into Starfleet Academy; I was sitting at home reading one morning and my dad ran through and pulled he into the tightest hug ever. When he'd seen the Starfleet insignia on the envelope he knew exactly what it was. The next week I left for San Francisco, and spent the next 4 years trying my best. It was the best 4 years of my life."

"I too enjoyed my years at the Academy. I was an instructor, aswell as programmer for the Kobayashi Maru." Spock commented, remembering his own times. "It was most interesting to see the variety of species present as students and teachers at the academy."

"That's the beauty of space; the entire universe opens up to you."

"In my opinion, the beauty of space would be you."

Ashley went a deep red in her cheeks at his compliment, and he looked to her feet and smiled. "You're too kind."

"Negative, it is simply the truth."

Ashley was glad their food arrived just then, as she couldn't say anything back to him for her blushing and the fluttering in her stomach. Their meal was delicious, almost as good as Spock's cooking, and it left them both fully nourished. The waiter came, took away their plates, and wished them a good day before they left.

It was getting dark by the time they'd explored the city that day, and they had ended up sitting in a small park with a waterfall in the centre of it. The sky still had a small tinge of red in it as the night crept up on the sun, but the twin moons were visible, their green hue radiating across the sky.

"Fascinating, isn't it. Twin moons, both the exact same size and density." Spock commented as he and Ashley locked hands and stared up at the night sky.

"Yes, it is," Ashley replied quietly, enjoying their time together. They'd have to get back to the ship soon, but she wished they could have stayed a little longer. "Spock?"

"Yes Ashley?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They looked at each other; Ashley smiling, and Spock conveying his love for her with his eyes, his beautiful eyes. They locked lips again, and again it felt like the world revolved around them. When they parted, Spock pulled out his communicator and hailed Scotty.

"Scotty here. Would you and Miss Copper like to beam aboard? You two are the last ones down there." The scotsman said.

"Yes please Mr Scott." Spock replied, as he took Ashley's hand and stood up. Within moments they were back on the ship, the bright lights of the transport room a major difference to the planet below.

"So lass, how'd your date go?" Scotty said to her as she stepped off the transport pad.

"It went well, thank you Scotty," She said, smiling and glaring at him again. "Oh, I nearly forgot!"

Ashley pulled out a small figurine made of clay, resembling a man in a kilt, with a glass of beer, who looked rather drunk. She handed it to Scotty, smiling. "It reminded me of you," she said, before laughing at his expression.

"Well, thank you very much lassie, I'll be sure to put it somewhere in my quarters where I'll see it every day." Scott said, rolling his eyes. "Now go on you two love birds, get outta here. I've got engines to check.

"Aye aye sir!" she said, giving him a little salute as they left him.

It being quite late for the ship, the corridors were quite quiet. They walked slowly, side by side. "Spock, when do you think we should tell people about our relationship?" Ashley asked.

"I believe whenever we are ready to."

"And when do you think that'll be?"

"Whenever you are ready too."

Ashley chuckled; he was always such a gentleman. "Well, Kirk knows, so the whole crew will know soon enough. I say we just let the word spread and sit back as Jim does the work for us."

"That seems logical." he said, kissing her again. They were outside her quarters now.

"I'll see you in the morning Spock," she said, before opening the door. "I love you."

"I love you too." he said, before nodding and leaving. Smiling to herself, Ashley flopped down on the bed, thinking about what a great day it had been.

Spock returned to his quarters as well, holding the small piece of his homeworld in his hands. For the first time in years he though about his mother and it did not pain him. Instead he only though about how well she and Ashley would have gotten along.

* * *

**AN: **Hey guys! Sorry this took so long to get up, I just couldn't find the time to get it done. From the sounds of the reviews you guys are really liking it, which is great! :D I'm planning on finishing this in a chapter or so, and then I'm thinking of doing some Tom Hiddeston/OC or Loki/OC next :3

Thanks guys, stay awesome!


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